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What Doesn't Kill You

A Life with Chronic Illness--Lessons from a Body in Revolt

ebook
1 of 2 copies available
1 of 2 copies available

"Should be read by anyone with a body. . . . Relentlessly researched and undeniably smart."
The New York Times
Named one of BuzzFeed's "Best Books of 2021"
What Doesn't Kill You
is the riveting account of a young journalist's awakening to chronic illness, weaving together personal story and reporting to shed light on living with an ailment forever.

Tessa Miller was an ambitious twentysomething writer in New York City when, on a random fall day, her stomach began to seize up. At first, she toughed it out through searing pain, taking sick days from work, unable to leave the bathroom or her bed. But when it became undeniable that something was seriously wrong, Miller gave in to family pressure and went to the hospital—beginning a years-long nightmare of procedures, misdiagnoses, and life-threatening infections. Once she was finally correctly diagnosed with Crohn's disease, Miller faced another battle: accepting that she will never get better.
Today, an astonishing three in five adults in the United States suffer from a chronic disease—a percentage expected to rise post-Covid. Whether the illness is arthritis, asthma, Crohn's, diabetes, endometriosis, multiple sclerosis, ulcerative colitis, or any other incurable illness, and whether the sufferer is a colleague, a loved one, or you, these diseases have an impact on just about every one of us. Yet there remains an air of shame and isolation about the topic of chronic sickness. Millions must endure these disorders not only physically but also emotionally, balancing the stress of relationships and work amid the ever-present threat of health complications.
Miller segues seamlessly from her dramatic personal experiences into a frank look at the cultural realities (medical, occupational, social) inherent in receiving a lifetime diagnosis. She offers hard-earned wisdom, solidarity, and an ultimately surprising promise of joy for those trying to make sense of it all.

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    • Kirkus

      December 1, 2020
      A young writer's unflinching account of her battle with Crohn's disease. Miller was a 24-year-old editor at Lifehacker when she was diagnosed with Crohn's disease, an incurable form of inflammatory bowel disease. In this blend of harrowing memoir and self-help tips, she chronicles how she achieved remission after nightmarish years of hospitalizations complicated by nasty attacks from the "extremely contagious and hard to treat" bacteria known as C. diff, which required three fecal microbiota transplants. Before she tamed her disease with medication, she endured countless physical indignities--from having to wear adult diapers to leaving a dinner party 20 times to use the bathroom--as well as "mental Olympics," which she powerfully describes as "the depression and anxiety that come along with a malfunctioning body; the defeat of visiting doctor after doctor only to hear 'it's all in your head'; the sick, sleepless nights worried about health insurance; the hope of a new treatment and the crushing loss when it doesn't work; the longing for loved ones to understand that you're the same you--except not; the grieving of a self that doesn't exist anymore; the PTSD from long hospital stays and invasive procedures; the new rules of an unrecognizable body; the inescapable loneliness." Miller intersperses vivid tales of her struggle with a hard sell for talk therapy and pages of overfamiliar advice on coping with chronic diseases: "Platitudes are annoying, but I've learned over the last decade that sometimes they're true: There is light at the end of the tunnel, time does heal, and the sun will come out tomorrow--so long as you do the work." Readers with Crohn's and other chronic conditions may find this book so valuable they won't mind the banalities, but more insightful writing on a similar topic appears in Everything Happens for a Reason, Kate Bowler's inspiring book about her colon cancer diagnosis. Frank reflections and well-worn advice on living with an incurable disease.

      COPYRIGHT(2020) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

    • Library Journal

      January 1, 2021

      As more is learned about the long-term effects of COVID-19, health and science journalist Miller offers a timely description of the ramifications of a chronic illness. The story of her struggle with Crohn's disease provides the undergirding for a broader look at how every aspect of life is impacted by any disease that doesn't kill, but also doesn't go away. She begins with a graphic account of how her own life was upended and changed forever by the symptoms that eventually led to a correct diagnosis. Miller is open about her own struggles and intertwines autobiographical portions with reflections on life with chronic illnesses. She discusses interactions with the medical world; grieving over what will never be; evolving interactions with family, friends, coworkers, and bosses; and the reality of a new self-image. There is a chapter outlining specific things those who interact with people with chronic illness need to know (e.g. " 'inspirational' isn't exactly a compliment") and one in which others with chronic illness are quoted saying what now gives them joy. VERDICT A clear, no-holds-barred account that will be useful both to those coming to grips with their own chronic illness and also to the people in their lives.--Richard Maxwell, Porter Adventist Hosp. Lib., Denver

      Copyright 2021 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

    • Booklist

      February 15, 2021
      Chronically ill people, their loved ones, and their colleagues will find useful advice and food for thought in this conversational, revealing memoir and guide. Miller, a 32-year-old journalist, reflects on her experience with Crohn's, an inflammatory bowel disease that causes the immune system to attack the digestive system. Though she had suffered from severe stomache aches throughout her life, she felt "searing cramps" in early 2012. Then, during a visit home to rural Illinois, things got much worse. Miller became "a professional patient, and a good one." People like to say, "This too shall pass," but, she asks, "What happens when 'this' never goes away?" Her own tale is so gripping, it's almost a disappointment when she shifts from telling her story to offering advice. But her tips are excellent, from joining support groups to finding a doctor affiliated with a teaching hospital. She also shares the "secrets" of chronically ill people, such as how they want to be believed and how weary they are of unsolicited advice. This is page-turner and a quality resource.

      COPYRIGHT(2021) Booklist, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

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